The Truth About "Noah's" Ark

 Noah's Ark is a well-known biblical story that tells of a great flood sent by God to cleanse the earth of wickedness. According to the story, God instructed the righteous man Noah to build an ark and bring two of every kind of animal on board to survive the flood. However, what if I told you that the animals themselves were the masterminds behind this whole conspiracy?

Think about it. Animals are intelligent beings with their own instincts and survival skills. It's not far-fetched to believe that they would come up with a plan to save themselves from the impending flood that would wipe out all mankind. The animals knew that humanity was destroying the earth with their wicked ways, and they needed to take matters into their own paws, hooves, and claws.

The animals secretly gathered together and devised a plan to "convince" Noah to build the ark and bring them on board. They knew that Noah was a righteous man who cared for all living creatures, so they appealed to his sense of compassion and duty to protect them and use his opposable thumbs to build the ark quicker. 

The animals also used their natural abilities to communicate with one another and with Noah. They whispered in his ear while he slept, urging him to heed the warning of the impending flood and to build the ark to save them all.

The animals WERE the "voice of God". 

Remember the Great Blue Heron from last week? How it's been spotted as a diety in history? A messenger of the Gods? Lady of the lake? Rhiannon, the Goddess of deep waters, may have even been the one to instigate the flood itself to kill all humanity. Not too hard when 71% of the Earth is covered in water and you have tons of aquatic friends to help make tsunamis. (Which will be discussed in a future post about Atlantis and their possible role in this event as well)

The animals worked together to gather the necessary materials and resources for the construction of the ark, guiding Noah every step of the way. 

After the flood waters receded, the animals emerged from the ark. They knew that they had played a crucial role in saving themselves and their fellow creatures from the destruction wrought by mankind.

Still, their genorosity allowed Noah and his family to live. I wouldn't be surprised if there's another uprising for extinction in the works with how animals and humans are currently being treated. Plus, humans created reality television. We should have had another flood ages ago. 

So, the next time you hear the story of Noah's Ark, remember that it wasn't just a tale of a righteous man saving the animals. No, they LET him and his family live. It was a conspiracy planned by the animals themselves, a testament to their intelligence, ingenuity, and determination to survive and then blaming it on someone else.

Don't forget to watch the bird drones (and Fat Bob the birdseed squirrel) plot our demise on our live camera and Twitch channel. Video clips will be coming soon.

Until next week. 

I am Snickers. 

I am truth.